Feelings

Time to share my emotions again.
I am struggling with my feelings lately. I know of a few people who I have known my entire life and they too are struggling with some type of cancer. However, they are not winning the battle so much and have been involved with hospice and been in the hospital.
This brings me to the fact that I am feeling guilty. Guilty about my cancer doing OK and me feeling really well after all the chemo treatments.
I know that my cancer can return at any time and that's a scary thought too.
Even though my first thoughts back in January about learning I had cancer were just that, "I have cancer". Then as time went by it turned into " I am a cancer survivor, I can do this".  I have a silicone pink ribbon ring (like the silicone bracelets) that I wear from time to time and every time I wear it , it reminds me that I am survivor. But I still feel bad, sad and guilty, even though I should feel fortunate for my health. I cant say that its Jehovah helping me through this as my friends who also have cancer have Jehovah as their God also and he would never pick and chose one over the other. I do thank Jehovah regularly for my health, that I have been able to endure and ask for his help to endure.
Guilt is a tough emotion.

In one of the emails I sent to Missy I told her my feelings and this is what she wrote back:
You don't depress me when you tell me how you are feeling.  I can't imagine the guilt and fear that you feel in your situation!  I would LOVE to tell you that you shouldn't feel guilty for being a survivor....but, like they said at the convention...your feelings are real.  I WISH you didn't feel that way, and I hope you can work it out eventually.  I'd be scared too.