I woke up crying to Richard today that I didn't want to go today and I was scared. but ....Off to Vancouver again today to have my port removed. Appt was at at 9:30am. I was in the room and changed into the little hospital gown by 9:35am They connected the cauterizing machine to me again, gave me several - I would say about eight shots to numb the area. The radio was playing and the nurse and Dr.Chung were talking.. I think it was to keep my mind off what was happening. When she used the cauterizing machine, it smoked and smelled really gross. When it go time to take out the part that was connected up the side of my neck, she said I might feel it tug a little, ,, this was my biggest fear. But with Dr.Chung doing it,I didn't feel it all. Once she was done, she sewed me up, put some bandages on it and I was done! I asked how it was connected to my neck so she dug it out of the garbage and showed me. She said by putting pressure on the vein it made it quit bleeding and start to heal. Just like if you have a paper cut on your finger, you most likely will put pressure on it.
I got home, took a nap and some Tylenol and am glad I had the day off. As the evening wore on, I felt good, but only when I was extremely still other wise it throbs.
Mom brought me a beautiful planter for the patio and a congratulations . I am thinking this is the last part of this breast cancer ordeal. I will still meet with Dr.Richert Boe every three months for check ups and my yearly mammogram But as for now....I am done. Its been just at one and half years since I started healing from Stage 3 breast cancer.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Port Removal
Today was the day I was suppose to have my port removed by Dr. Chung in the Millplain Vancouver Kaiser office.
Richard and I got there, I went into the room, (just like a little operating room, table, bright lights etc). Got changed in to the fabulous medical gown, verified info with the nurse, .. then it started.. She asked if I was taking any blood thinners. I said yes 325mg aspirin twice a day. She told Dr. Chung and the decided to hook me up to the cauterizing machine. Which is like being grounded, plugged in. They put a sticky patch thing on my hip and then they could turn on the machine if needed. Then Dr. Chung came in and verified the aspirin dosage. She said she didn't really think it was OK to do surgery since I had been taking the aspirin. So If she didn't feel comfy with it, neither did I . I explained my stand on the blood issue again and felt that re scheduling the surgery would be best. So I got dressed, and rescheduled it for next month. I would rather put it off than have a situation arise in the Dr.s office.
So I left feeling disappointed it didn't happen today but OK with why it didn't. Plus I learned a little more about the actual surgery so next time I wont be as nervous.
Richard and I got there, I went into the room, (just like a little operating room, table, bright lights etc). Got changed in to the fabulous medical gown, verified info with the nurse, .. then it started.. She asked if I was taking any blood thinners. I said yes 325mg aspirin twice a day. She told Dr. Chung and the decided to hook me up to the cauterizing machine. Which is like being grounded, plugged in. They put a sticky patch thing on my hip and then they could turn on the machine if needed. Then Dr. Chung came in and verified the aspirin dosage. She said she didn't really think it was OK to do surgery since I had been taking the aspirin. So If she didn't feel comfy with it, neither did I . I explained my stand on the blood issue again and felt that re scheduling the surgery would be best. So I got dressed, and rescheduled it for next month. I would rather put it off than have a situation arise in the Dr.s office.
So I left feeling disappointed it didn't happen today but OK with why it didn't. Plus I learned a little more about the actual surgery so next time I wont be as nervous.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
LAST KAISER VISIT
Today was my last visit to Kaiser for Herceptin. I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saw Dr. Richert Boe today. As soon as she came in the room she said, "today's your last time, you did it!"
After my exam with her, she hugged me a couple times and sent me to find my chair.
All the nurses at some point during the 2 1/2 hours I was there came by and said congratulations!
When my IV of Herceptin was done, Maria who is the head nurse said, "Well, that's the last couple drops of Herceptin you will be getting from us"
I asked the Dr. about when I can get my port taken out and she said, " is tomorrow to soon?" So I will try to have Dr. Chung take it out in the office. Last time I met with her she said she can do it and I feel very confident and secure with her. She did my surgery.
When I was all done... they gave me a card that they all had signed. I left, went to the car and bawled like baby! I am so happy its over with. I didn't think today would be that emotional. I got back to work and still could hardly keep it together. I emailed a few friends at work to tell them and they such nice things to say!
So I am now on the down side of it. I will see Dr. Richert Boe again in early September for my three month check up. I will have three month check ups for 2 years, then 6 month check ups for 5 years then 1 check up a year for 5 years. Wow that's a lot of check ups! But I want and need a clean bill of health. I don't want to do this again!
Saw Dr. Richert Boe today. As soon as she came in the room she said, "today's your last time, you did it!"
After my exam with her, she hugged me a couple times and sent me to find my chair.
All the nurses at some point during the 2 1/2 hours I was there came by and said congratulations!
When my IV of Herceptin was done, Maria who is the head nurse said, "Well, that's the last couple drops of Herceptin you will be getting from us"
I asked the Dr. about when I can get my port taken out and she said, " is tomorrow to soon?" So I will try to have Dr. Chung take it out in the office. Last time I met with her she said she can do it and I feel very confident and secure with her. She did my surgery.
When I was all done... they gave me a card that they all had signed. I left, went to the car and bawled like baby! I am so happy its over with. I didn't think today would be that emotional. I got back to work and still could hardly keep it together. I emailed a few friends at work to tell them and they such nice things to say!
So I am now on the down side of it. I will see Dr. Richert Boe again in early September for my three month check up. I will have three month check ups for 2 years, then 6 month check ups for 5 years then 1 check up a year for 5 years. Wow that's a lot of check ups! But I want and need a clean bill of health. I don't want to do this again!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Reward
As a reward to myself for making it through the last year, I went with my mom, Deanna Suhrie and Beth to Maui. Beth was there for a week, the rest of us for 10 days.
Mom even sneaked in with surprise party .. balloons, cake, ice cream, congratulations banners around the room!! I had a wonderful time. I had never been there before and now look forward to going back on my 5 year clean bill of health anniversary!
I have one treatment of Herceptin left. On June 9th I have a MUGA Scan scheduled, and then my last IV treatment at Kaiser and already feel very nervous and anxious inside. Can believe I have one treatment left! its been an ongoing but fast treatment.
Hope I don't get so excited I throw up again, like when I did when it was my half way through chemo day! (that was a little embarrassing!)
Mom even sneaked in with surprise party .. balloons, cake, ice cream, congratulations banners around the room!! I had a wonderful time. I had never been there before and now look forward to going back on my 5 year clean bill of health anniversary!
I have one treatment of Herceptin left. On June 9th I have a MUGA Scan scheduled, and then my last IV treatment at Kaiser and already feel very nervous and anxious inside. Can believe I have one treatment left! its been an ongoing but fast treatment.
Hope I don't get so excited I throw up again, like when I did when it was my half way through chemo day! (that was a little embarrassing!)
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Blog to Book
Have re-read my blog and have done some punctuation adjustments and have sent it off via the Internet to be printed into a book.
Any new posts, which should be very few, will be hand written in the back of the book. The book is soft cover 8 1/2 by 11 in size and costed me about $40.00 to print and ship it.
so I guess, this blog is pretty much done.
Thanks for all the support, comments, questions and kindness! It along with help from Jehovah has helped me be a cancer survivor.
Any new posts, which should be very few, will be hand written in the back of the book. The book is soft cover 8 1/2 by 11 in size and costed me about $40.00 to print and ship it.
so I guess, this blog is pretty much done.
Thanks for all the support, comments, questions and kindness! It along with help from Jehovah has helped me be a cancer survivor.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
High Tea
Today mom and I met with Jessica, Lisa Gerhke, Shari, Tawnya, Jan and Virgie for High Tea in celebration that I am well and chemo and radiation is over with, at this little place in Longview called The Britts at 2pm. They had our table all set up, beautiful little plates, cups and saucers, tea pots, glass creamers, water glasses, Sterling silver napkin rings on fabric napkins, Sterling silver sugar bowls with little spoons and a white table cloth. Our table was beautifully set for a tea party.
Then they brought out two trays and two stackable trays that had three plates on each of little sandwiches like slice cucumber with cream cheese on a little round of bread and sprinkled with dill (my favorite!), small rounds of English muffins with chicken, cream cheese and chopped tomatoes, bread with egg salad sprinkled with cayenne, phylo dough wrapped little sausages, little quiches, turkey between rye bread and white bread. Once plate on each tray was dessert, that had marionberry scones, fruit and a chocolate lollipop. The table also had a divided bowl of lemon curd, lime jelly and coddled cream (like butter) to spread on the scones. These were really good.
We had several refills on the tea , visited and had a very very very very nice time. I so appreciate the sisters (and brothers) in our hall who have all be soo very supportive through all of this.
I think back to when a pioneer sister stopped by my house and encouraged me after surgery, " Pray to Jehovah for the wisdom to make the right medical decision for me and my situation" This has played in my mind ever since, and its been a year now. Thank you to her for the wise counsel.
Also had my second hair cut today. Today was more of a shaping than a cut , she blow dried it and used a very small flat iron on it. I have bangs!!! Oh how I have missed my bangs! I feel like I can have a style now. I went and bought a small flat iron and will get up extra early tomorrow to try to do it my self. Today for probably the first time since going without a wig in November, I feel like I like my hair and I have style. The girl who waited on our table today at the Britts said to me, " I like your hair".
Then they brought out two trays and two stackable trays that had three plates on each of little sandwiches like slice cucumber with cream cheese on a little round of bread and sprinkled with dill (my favorite!), small rounds of English muffins with chicken, cream cheese and chopped tomatoes, bread with egg salad sprinkled with cayenne, phylo dough wrapped little sausages, little quiches, turkey between rye bread and white bread. Once plate on each tray was dessert, that had marionberry scones, fruit and a chocolate lollipop. The table also had a divided bowl of lemon curd, lime jelly and coddled cream (like butter) to spread on the scones. These were really good.
We had several refills on the tea , visited and had a very very very very nice time. I so appreciate the sisters (and brothers) in our hall who have all be soo very supportive through all of this.
I think back to when a pioneer sister stopped by my house and encouraged me after surgery, " Pray to Jehovah for the wisdom to make the right medical decision for me and my situation" This has played in my mind ever since, and its been a year now. Thank you to her for the wise counsel.
Also had my second hair cut today. Today was more of a shaping than a cut , she blow dried it and used a very small flat iron on it. I have bangs!!! Oh how I have missed my bangs! I feel like I can have a style now. I went and bought a small flat iron and will get up extra early tomorrow to try to do it my self. Today for probably the first time since going without a wig in November, I feel like I like my hair and I have style. The girl who waited on our table today at the Britts said to me, " I like your hair".
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
1 Year Check Up
Today Richard and I went to Vancouver to meet with Dr. Chung. She's the one who did my surgery. She works at the Mill Plain Kaiser in General Surgery.
She was excited and happy that my mammogram came back clean.
Did a breast exam, asked a few questions like am I having any night sweats (not hot flashes), any soreness in the breast or under arm area or weight loss. She explained that if I had anything like this, they would then do a CAT scan or PET scan, that these are symptoms of it returning. I have none of these symptoms! She said everything was fine up to now and keep on doing what Dr. Richert-Boe suggested and would see me in a year for my two year anniversary. She also looked at my port and said it looks good on the outside, and when I am done with the Herceptin in June or after, I can have it taken out. The good news is that I can have it done in a Kaiser office and I don't have to go back to St. Johns same day surgery to have it taken out ( that saved me about $6,000). She explained that to put it in, it has to be done a hospital, but to take it out, its much easier and can she can do it in the office.That was a huge relief!
Dr. Chung is a very nice doctor and has been very upfront and open about everything with us. She told me in the beginning that it would be about a year of treatment. (turned out so far to be about 1 1/2 years by the time I am done with the Hercptin in June.)
I really cant believe its been one year ..... one year...... a year ago tomorrow, February 10th I was having my surgery to have the lump removed and start this whole process to heal myself of breast cancer.
They say five years without it coming back and then I can say I am cancer free.. I have one year behind me!
She was excited and happy that my mammogram came back clean.
Did a breast exam, asked a few questions like am I having any night sweats (not hot flashes), any soreness in the breast or under arm area or weight loss. She explained that if I had anything like this, they would then do a CAT scan or PET scan, that these are symptoms of it returning. I have none of these symptoms! She said everything was fine up to now and keep on doing what Dr. Richert-Boe suggested and would see me in a year for my two year anniversary. She also looked at my port and said it looks good on the outside, and when I am done with the Herceptin in June or after, I can have it taken out. The good news is that I can have it done in a Kaiser office and I don't have to go back to St. Johns same day surgery to have it taken out ( that saved me about $6,000). She explained that to put it in, it has to be done a hospital, but to take it out, its much easier and can she can do it in the office.That was a huge relief!
Dr. Chung is a very nice doctor and has been very upfront and open about everything with us. She told me in the beginning that it would be about a year of treatment. (turned out so far to be about 1 1/2 years by the time I am done with the Hercptin in June.)
I really cant believe its been one year ..... one year...... a year ago tomorrow, February 10th I was having my surgery to have the lump removed and start this whole process to heal myself of breast cancer.
They say five years without it coming back and then I can say I am cancer free.. I have one year behind me!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Start Tamoxifen
On Thursday January 20, 2011 I had my routinely three week visit to Kaiser. This time I met with Dr. Richert-Boe. After my exam Richard and I asked her a few questions like, the mammogram takes pictures of and checks the breast, how do I know the cancer isn't active or spreading to the lymph nodes since the mammogram doesn't take pictures of the under arm area. She said they can tell somewhat from the mammogram since it does reach to the underarm area a little but mostly even with the breast, the best way to tell is by hands on and talking to the patient about symptoms.
I also referred to the medicine that radiation Dr. Kim had said I would be taking. Dr. Richert-Boe looked at my records on the computer and said yes I would be taking Tamoxifen and I could start it that day.
Since I am still having my monthly cycles, I will be on the Tamoxifen until those stop then I will be on a pill once a day called Anastrozole. The Tamoxifen is to rid my body of estrogen. Since my cancer cells tested positive for a protein which estrogen will bind to.. . meaning my cancer needs estrogen to grow. This medicine works against the effects of estrogen on these cells. Tamoxifen helps prevent the original breast cancer from returning and also helps prevent the development of new cancers in the other breast.
Side effects you ask? Possible blood clots, the Dr said its very low like 1 in 500. I think that does not sound like a low amount, but she said it was a low ratio. Other side effects are hot flashes. oh boy!
What she did not tell me , that I have been reading about was one of side effects is also an increase in cancer of the uterus.. However the studying and reading I have done on this says that this is very low and the benefits to Tamoxifen far out weigh the risks.
So I guess the one good thing is that I have now started on the five years of meds and I can start the count down! Other than that I am feeling very good. My hair is coming in great. Gray and very very curly and very thick. Mostly I just put some mousse in it and scrunch it up some an its done. cant wait for it to get longer! I miss my long hair and bangs.
I also referred to the medicine that radiation Dr. Kim had said I would be taking. Dr. Richert-Boe looked at my records on the computer and said yes I would be taking Tamoxifen and I could start it that day.
Since I am still having my monthly cycles, I will be on the Tamoxifen until those stop then I will be on a pill once a day called Anastrozole. The Tamoxifen is to rid my body of estrogen. Since my cancer cells tested positive for a protein which estrogen will bind to.. . meaning my cancer needs estrogen to grow. This medicine works against the effects of estrogen on these cells. Tamoxifen helps prevent the original breast cancer from returning and also helps prevent the development of new cancers in the other breast.
Side effects you ask? Possible blood clots, the Dr said its very low like 1 in 500. I think that does not sound like a low amount, but she said it was a low ratio. Other side effects are hot flashes. oh boy!
What she did not tell me , that I have been reading about was one of side effects is also an increase in cancer of the uterus.. However the studying and reading I have done on this says that this is very low and the benefits to Tamoxifen far out weigh the risks.
So I guess the one good thing is that I have now started on the five years of meds and I can start the count down! Other than that I am feeling very good. My hair is coming in great. Gray and very very curly and very thick. Mostly I just put some mousse in it and scrunch it up some an its done. cant wait for it to get longer! I miss my long hair and bangs.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Emails From Friends And Family
The following are comments that I received from coworkers, family and friends once I told everyone that I had breast cancer and would be having surgery and chemo:
Beth Latham: you will be in our prayers. You are young, you can fight this, you have more strength and courage than you know at this moment and when you think you don't have the strength, you have Jehovah to rely on.
Anne Montgomery: I cant believe this! you are too young for this kind of thing. Although that will be in your favor. I'll pray that it is the best scenario possible (Catholic prayers, though so....) Sounds like you have a positive attitude which is the best medicine.
Erica Gillum: This is definitely a shock. you are a fighter and will beat this 100%. No matter if you have hair or not, you will look fine.
Kim Conradi: I am so totally sorry. Thank you for sharing such a personal matter with us. You have always been a dear friend to me and I value that. While I can imagine all the tears, I cannot imagine there are any words that would mend nor pacify your feelings. The only words possibly comforting would be those in the scriptures. Thank goodness you were on e of that that kept thorough in your studies and Bible reading. I know that will fortify you through this difficult time.
The day before surgery for my care package that I got at work I sent out a thank you for the package and said I would rather be leaving for a vacation in Mexico:
Angie Gardner: Wear a poncho to surgery and you will feel like you are in Mexico, I promise! Love ya
Hilary: Good luck! Fight like a girl!!!!
Tina Halsey: You are a wonderful person and wonderful people are given wonderful gifts.
Janice Heinz: I will be sending you all my positive thoughts
Kathy Miller: Its difficult to see what all the fuss is about when you feel so normal yet something so overwhelming is going on around you. But its all about people caring and we do- feel safe tomorrow and know that ou will come safely out the other side! Love ya
Doris: I am praying for you and a quick recovery. If you need anything call me and I will be there.
Sandy Lebaron: It is just so hared to find the words to say to someone facing what you are facing tomorrow. So I will be praying for good reports after the surgery.
Missy: wow. You'll be OK and come through great. I know this is scary, but you are strong and will get through this. Is OK to have a melt down every now and then. Wade has been thinking of the song by Rob Thomas called Her Diamonds and how Richard must be feeling with you being sick and him feeling a little helpless, even though he is not. Wish I could be there for you, I'm hugging you right now.. do you feel it?
Marcia Hurry: Sorry to hear you are going thru such stress and worry. You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers. God will only give us what we can handle. So he must feel you are a very strong lady.
Out of surgery, Kris called work for me, this is from Sue:
Kris just called and said Nancy is out of surgery and in recovery. No one has been able to see her yet. They were told they did remove the lump but the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes so they took as many as they could. She will most likely be off for two weeks and then once she is done healing they will have to do some aggressive chemo and radiation. That is about all I know. Kris said if she finds out more she will give us a call.
Out of surgery:
Beth : I am thinking by now you are out of surgery and awake and enjoying the company of a room full of you support crew. We are thinking about you, everyday but your even more on my mind today. I cant do much from California but I did 3 miles on the treadmill non stop to " I am Superwoman" in honor of you. Its your song, I ran to it the day I got your email to let me know about the cancer and its been your song since that day. Seems fitting. Anyways, I 've been thinking about you all day today and send much love.
Cancer came back at stage 3, have a bone scan and cat scan to see if its spread to the liver or bones. Then I will meet with the Dr for type of treatment. Thinking of starting a blog.
Beth: No really you should start a blog. Its amazingly therapeutic to get it all out and down and free therapy! It would give your peeps some insight as to what you are going through, feeling etc. .. just saying.
I have been trying to wrap my head around how someone deals, copes and gets though cancer. I know you take one day at a time and deal with things as they come, rely Jehovah but how does one get their head around that? I am not trying to depress you. I've just been thinking about it a lot..
Vonnie: You are being so brave! I am so very proud of you.
Cindy Coonan: So am sitting here at my desk missing you every day. Just wanted to let you know you are greatly missed.
The blog:
Marcia: Love your blog and read it all the time. Even some of my friends have been keeping tabs on you too. You inspire all of us with your happy outlook.
Time for a wig:
Kris to Ger: will you shave your head for Nancy?
Ger to Kris: who else is doing it? I was going to ask if I could do something for Nancy but this isn't what I had in mind.
Nancy to Elaine in HR: What is going to be considered appropriate "head coverings" for work, for when I am in chemo and have lost my hair? I don't think the manual exactly addresses my issue.
Elaine to Nancy: You can wear a hat, scarf etc. Whatever you are comfortable with. The dress code doesn't address this, but I talked to Kim and its appropriate for you to wear what you will be comfortable with.
Nancy to Kris: I was just in the bathroom and was running my hand through my hair and it was coming out 4 or 5 at a time, no matter how many times I did it.
Now I am getting panicky.
Brenda to Nancy: Take a deep breath!!! We all knew this would happen.. get the wig ready asap. Love Ya and sorry. The wigs look good. You are beautiful to us!
Missy: Just because we all say on the blog how strong you are, doesn't mean you have to be strong. Its OK to have a melt down. Your hair is falling out!, you don't have to find a way to cope with that, or to accept it or to find humor in it. we all would freak out too if our hair fell out. I have been crying for you all day. When I washed my hair, when I dried it, when I put it in a pony.. to be cooler not to keep it from falling out. I cant begin to know what you feel. I keep telling myself this is not the real life, but for you right now it is. Because its in your face and have to deal with it every day. Just know that we love you and we talk about you and pray for you everyday.
When others passed away from cancer, I felt guilty:
Missy: Don't minimize your battle by comparing yourself to others. Its all unfair, its all chance. What works for some, doenst for others. Its a lousy system. That's why we need the New System when no one will say, I am sick.
Many many many emails when the chemo was finished.
Many many many emails when I finished the radiation. Kris had a work party .
Lisa Bailey: I am so glad you finished your radiation and I am sure those last few were hard to face. I am excited to put you in the remission category! Happy health. Way to go.
Yolanda: You have tackled this challenge with such positivity it amazes me. I hope that if I am ever faced with a challenge this big, I will face it with your attitude. You are an amazing woman. Congratulations.
Many more emails when the mammogram came back clean.
Judy Nelson: Yahoo. So glad.If we were closer, I 'd open a bottle of wine and celebrate. Love ya.
Cindy Coonan: What great news. I am excited for you. Oh happy dance.
Beth Latham: all those treatments and meds.. totally worth it for the feeling of hearing : benign. Go celebrate!
I have kept all the cards I received from everyone.. I have 64 get well, thinking of you cards from several freinds, family and coworkers.
So these are just a few of the emails and comments from my friends and family. Thank you just doesn't seem to cover it. But thank you.
Beth Latham: you will be in our prayers. You are young, you can fight this, you have more strength and courage than you know at this moment and when you think you don't have the strength, you have Jehovah to rely on.
Anne Montgomery: I cant believe this! you are too young for this kind of thing. Although that will be in your favor. I'll pray that it is the best scenario possible (Catholic prayers, though so....) Sounds like you have a positive attitude which is the best medicine.
Erica Gillum: This is definitely a shock. you are a fighter and will beat this 100%. No matter if you have hair or not, you will look fine.
Kim Conradi: I am so totally sorry. Thank you for sharing such a personal matter with us. You have always been a dear friend to me and I value that. While I can imagine all the tears, I cannot imagine there are any words that would mend nor pacify your feelings. The only words possibly comforting would be those in the scriptures. Thank goodness you were on e of that that kept thorough in your studies and Bible reading. I know that will fortify you through this difficult time.
The day before surgery for my care package that I got at work I sent out a thank you for the package and said I would rather be leaving for a vacation in Mexico:
Angie Gardner: Wear a poncho to surgery and you will feel like you are in Mexico, I promise! Love ya
Hilary: Good luck! Fight like a girl!!!!
Tina Halsey: You are a wonderful person and wonderful people are given wonderful gifts.
Janice Heinz: I will be sending you all my positive thoughts
Kathy Miller: Its difficult to see what all the fuss is about when you feel so normal yet something so overwhelming is going on around you. But its all about people caring and we do- feel safe tomorrow and know that ou will come safely out the other side! Love ya
Doris: I am praying for you and a quick recovery. If you need anything call me and I will be there.
Sandy Lebaron: It is just so hared to find the words to say to someone facing what you are facing tomorrow. So I will be praying for good reports after the surgery.
Missy: wow. You'll be OK and come through great. I know this is scary, but you are strong and will get through this. Is OK to have a melt down every now and then. Wade has been thinking of the song by Rob Thomas called Her Diamonds and how Richard must be feeling with you being sick and him feeling a little helpless, even though he is not. Wish I could be there for you, I'm hugging you right now.. do you feel it?
Marcia Hurry: Sorry to hear you are going thru such stress and worry. You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers. God will only give us what we can handle. So he must feel you are a very strong lady.
Out of surgery, Kris called work for me, this is from Sue:
Kris just called and said Nancy is out of surgery and in recovery. No one has been able to see her yet. They were told they did remove the lump but the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes so they took as many as they could. She will most likely be off for two weeks and then once she is done healing they will have to do some aggressive chemo and radiation. That is about all I know. Kris said if she finds out more she will give us a call.
Out of surgery:
Beth : I am thinking by now you are out of surgery and awake and enjoying the company of a room full of you support crew. We are thinking about you, everyday but your even more on my mind today. I cant do much from California but I did 3 miles on the treadmill non stop to " I am Superwoman" in honor of you. Its your song, I ran to it the day I got your email to let me know about the cancer and its been your song since that day. Seems fitting. Anyways, I 've been thinking about you all day today and send much love.
Cancer came back at stage 3, have a bone scan and cat scan to see if its spread to the liver or bones. Then I will meet with the Dr for type of treatment. Thinking of starting a blog.
Beth: No really you should start a blog. Its amazingly therapeutic to get it all out and down and free therapy! It would give your peeps some insight as to what you are going through, feeling etc. .. just saying.
I have been trying to wrap my head around how someone deals, copes and gets though cancer. I know you take one day at a time and deal with things as they come, rely Jehovah but how does one get their head around that? I am not trying to depress you. I've just been thinking about it a lot..
Vonnie: You are being so brave! I am so very proud of you.
Cindy Coonan: So am sitting here at my desk missing you every day. Just wanted to let you know you are greatly missed.
The blog:
Marcia: Love your blog and read it all the time. Even some of my friends have been keeping tabs on you too. You inspire all of us with your happy outlook.
Time for a wig:
Kris to Ger: will you shave your head for Nancy?
Ger to Kris: who else is doing it? I was going to ask if I could do something for Nancy but this isn't what I had in mind.
Nancy to Elaine in HR: What is going to be considered appropriate "head coverings" for work, for when I am in chemo and have lost my hair? I don't think the manual exactly addresses my issue.
Elaine to Nancy: You can wear a hat, scarf etc. Whatever you are comfortable with. The dress code doesn't address this, but I talked to Kim and its appropriate for you to wear what you will be comfortable with.
Nancy to Kris: I was just in the bathroom and was running my hand through my hair and it was coming out 4 or 5 at a time, no matter how many times I did it.
Now I am getting panicky.
Brenda to Nancy: Take a deep breath!!! We all knew this would happen.. get the wig ready asap. Love Ya and sorry. The wigs look good. You are beautiful to us!
Missy: Just because we all say on the blog how strong you are, doesn't mean you have to be strong. Its OK to have a melt down. Your hair is falling out!, you don't have to find a way to cope with that, or to accept it or to find humor in it. we all would freak out too if our hair fell out. I have been crying for you all day. When I washed my hair, when I dried it, when I put it in a pony.. to be cooler not to keep it from falling out. I cant begin to know what you feel. I keep telling myself this is not the real life, but for you right now it is. Because its in your face and have to deal with it every day. Just know that we love you and we talk about you and pray for you everyday.
When others passed away from cancer, I felt guilty:
Missy: Don't minimize your battle by comparing yourself to others. Its all unfair, its all chance. What works for some, doenst for others. Its a lousy system. That's why we need the New System when no one will say, I am sick.
Many many many emails when the chemo was finished.
Many many many emails when I finished the radiation. Kris had a work party .
Lisa Bailey: I am so glad you finished your radiation and I am sure those last few were hard to face. I am excited to put you in the remission category! Happy health. Way to go.
Yolanda: You have tackled this challenge with such positivity it amazes me. I hope that if I am ever faced with a challenge this big, I will face it with your attitude. You are an amazing woman. Congratulations.
Many more emails when the mammogram came back clean.
Judy Nelson: Yahoo. So glad.If we were closer, I 'd open a bottle of wine and celebrate. Love ya.
Cindy Coonan: What great news. I am excited for you. Oh happy dance.
Beth Latham: all those treatments and meds.. totally worth it for the feeling of hearing : benign. Go celebrate!
I have kept all the cards I received from everyone.. I have 64 get well, thinking of you cards from several freinds, family and coworkers.
So these are just a few of the emails and comments from my friends and family. Thank you just doesn't seem to cover it. But thank you.
Blog Ending
The blog will will be ending pretty soon. Thank you to all who have been watching and reading and who have left comments. It has meant a lot to me in some very difficult and emotional times and situations.
Once I am done, I am going to have the blog printed in to a book. Not that I want to remember this part of my life but as I was thinking today, I don't even remember the weather we had over the past summer.. oh yeah, I was on the sofa or in bed sleeping off and being sick from the chemo drugs. What kind of fall did we have? Not to sure. I was too busy making it to my radiation appointments. Has cancer took away a year of my life? I want to think so. But than I thought, no, it hasn't . I spent the last year taking the time to heal and to get rid of the cancer that was in me.Taking the time to do what the Dr's said to do. It wasn't a waste of time. Tough at many times, but now that my mammogram came back clean, I have to keep focused on how to keep the mammogram clean.
At the six month radiation Dr appointment with Dr. Kim, he made mention of a drug, a pill that I would be on daily for five years. I will be asking Dr. Richert Boe about this on Thursday when I see her. They say if your tests come back clean for five years, that's when you are considered cancer free. I know that's the answer, the results I want to have.
The reason for the medicine medicine Herceptin that I have been taking every three weeks is because when they did my surgery and took out my cancer and lymph nodes, they tested positive for the HER2 gene. What is this? I have tried to describe in the past, but just found a breast cancer dictionary in with all my papers, bill and cards. This is what it has to say:
The HER2/neu gene: this oncoprotein is present in very small amounts on the outer surface of the normal breast cell. HER stimulates cell growth, and breast cancers that produce too much of this protein tend to be more aggressive. A monoclonal antibody that attaches to the HER2 protein slows the growth of breast cancer cells and may also stimulate the immune system to more effectively attack the cancer.
Along with the fact that this gene tested positive for the HER 2 protein, they say its HER 2 positive. Meaning that a medicine for example the drug Tamoxifen, blocks the effects of the estrogen on the tumors. Antiestrogens are used to treat breast cancers that depend on estrogen for growth. For this estrogen part is where the drug for five years will come into play. Dr. Kim, the radiologist said I would most likely be taking a drug like Tamoxifen. It has many cousins and I would be taking something similar to it.
I guess a pill a day cant be so bad, but will be asking more questions about it.
Again thank you to all who have been reading, following asking questions and leaving comments.
Once I am done, I am going to have the blog printed in to a book. Not that I want to remember this part of my life but as I was thinking today, I don't even remember the weather we had over the past summer.. oh yeah, I was on the sofa or in bed sleeping off and being sick from the chemo drugs. What kind of fall did we have? Not to sure. I was too busy making it to my radiation appointments. Has cancer took away a year of my life? I want to think so. But than I thought, no, it hasn't . I spent the last year taking the time to heal and to get rid of the cancer that was in me.Taking the time to do what the Dr's said to do. It wasn't a waste of time. Tough at many times, but now that my mammogram came back clean, I have to keep focused on how to keep the mammogram clean.
At the six month radiation Dr appointment with Dr. Kim, he made mention of a drug, a pill that I would be on daily for five years. I will be asking Dr. Richert Boe about this on Thursday when I see her. They say if your tests come back clean for five years, that's when you are considered cancer free. I know that's the answer, the results I want to have.
The reason for the medicine medicine Herceptin that I have been taking every three weeks is because when they did my surgery and took out my cancer and lymph nodes, they tested positive for the HER2 gene. What is this? I have tried to describe in the past, but just found a breast cancer dictionary in with all my papers, bill and cards. This is what it has to say:
The HER2/neu gene: this oncoprotein is present in very small amounts on the outer surface of the normal breast cell. HER stimulates cell growth, and breast cancers that produce too much of this protein tend to be more aggressive. A monoclonal antibody that attaches to the HER2 protein slows the growth of breast cancer cells and may also stimulate the immune system to more effectively attack the cancer.
Along with the fact that this gene tested positive for the HER 2 protein, they say its HER 2 positive. Meaning that a medicine for example the drug Tamoxifen, blocks the effects of the estrogen on the tumors. Antiestrogens are used to treat breast cancers that depend on estrogen for growth. For this estrogen part is where the drug for five years will come into play. Dr. Kim, the radiologist said I would most likely be taking a drug like Tamoxifen. It has many cousins and I would be taking something similar to it.
I guess a pill a day cant be so bad, but will be asking more questions about it.
Again thank you to all who have been reading, following asking questions and leaving comments.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Mammogram Test Results
I had my mammogram on Saturday January 8, 2011
This was a scary one as I was very, very, very scared to go. Scared that it would hurt more than usual due to the scar, the inside healing from the radiation etc. I was also scared that it would come back with something on it and I would have to go through this entire routine of chemo and radiation all over again.
Friday night I was sobbing that I was scared. Richard was so comforting, caring and gentle. He saw me off to bed and reassured me that we had a really great surgeon, that Dr. Chung felt confident that she had gotten all of the cancer in the surgery and that after the treatments of chemo and radiation, how could there possibly be anything living and growing in there? And I had the same feelings that I was confident with Dr. Chung and for all I went through.. but the idea is still in my mind.
Last year, I went in on Saturday. They called me on Monday and I was back in on Tuesday for another mammogram. So this time I gave myself until Tuesday afternoon to hear, to wait for the call. When no call came, I called Kaiser and asked that my primary physician, Dr. Manzone request the results and let me know. Within about 3 hours they called on my cell phone that I had in full view at work, but couldn't answer since I was on the phone trying to help some idiot with a question. Since I didn't answer, they called home and told Richard and he called me. I had to hear it for myself so called Kaiser back and asked what the results were and this is what they said:
"THE MAMMOGRAM RESULTS CAME BACK BENIGN, FOLLOW UP WITH YOUR YEARLY MAMMOGRAM"
What great news !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called my mom and told her. She brought me flowers and a card at work and we both got a little teary eyed over it!----- I love you mom!
And I emailed several to let them know the results. Happy emails all around! and I feel so much better knowing that I passed the test! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me. I can go on and not worry.
I have very long road ahead of me and I am not finished yet, but this was a huge step in healing~!
This was a scary one as I was very, very, very scared to go. Scared that it would hurt more than usual due to the scar, the inside healing from the radiation etc. I was also scared that it would come back with something on it and I would have to go through this entire routine of chemo and radiation all over again.
Friday night I was sobbing that I was scared. Richard was so comforting, caring and gentle. He saw me off to bed and reassured me that we had a really great surgeon, that Dr. Chung felt confident that she had gotten all of the cancer in the surgery and that after the treatments of chemo and radiation, how could there possibly be anything living and growing in there? And I had the same feelings that I was confident with Dr. Chung and for all I went through.. but the idea is still in my mind.
Last year, I went in on Saturday. They called me on Monday and I was back in on Tuesday for another mammogram. So this time I gave myself until Tuesday afternoon to hear, to wait for the call. When no call came, I called Kaiser and asked that my primary physician, Dr. Manzone request the results and let me know. Within about 3 hours they called on my cell phone that I had in full view at work, but couldn't answer since I was on the phone trying to help some idiot with a question. Since I didn't answer, they called home and told Richard and he called me. I had to hear it for myself so called Kaiser back and asked what the results were and this is what they said:
"THE MAMMOGRAM RESULTS CAME BACK BENIGN, FOLLOW UP WITH YOUR YEARLY MAMMOGRAM"
What great news !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called my mom and told her. She brought me flowers and a card at work and we both got a little teary eyed over it!----- I love you mom!
And I emailed several to let them know the results. Happy emails all around! and I feel so much better knowing that I passed the test! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me. I can go on and not worry.
I have very long road ahead of me and I am not finished yet, but this was a huge step in healing~!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Radiation Dr.
I went for my radiation check up.. Its been 6 weeks since I have been done with the radiation. Dr. said I am healing well and didn't plan on seeing me again. yeah!
I have no outward scars or signs of having radiation but it was nice to know I think I am done with that part of it.
He did mention to me that I need to check with Dr. Richert-Boe to see what medicine I will be on. When I asked him what he was talking about, he said that since I tested (back when I had the surgery done) positive to the HER2 protein gene ( will discuss this later, when I have more info and a great way to explain it), that I will be a medicine for 5 years. So I whined like a baby and said its one pill a day for 5 years. OK... so I guess after what I have been through, a pill a day cant be that bad I guess. I have my apt with her on January 20th so will see what info I can get out of her so I find out side effects etc. but I am not going to worry about it now.
The mammogram appointment is tomorrow morning (Jan 8th) that I am worried about. Richard is confident it will come back clean. Glad one of us is confident about it!
Here is a current pic... the hair is coming in thick and curly.. slow growing but its getting there. Today is the first day I have worn it curly with some mousse in it. Not too sure that I like it.. but its better than the wigs- even though the wigs did get me through a really tough time.
I have no outward scars or signs of having radiation but it was nice to know I think I am done with that part of it.
He did mention to me that I need to check with Dr. Richert-Boe to see what medicine I will be on. When I asked him what he was talking about, he said that since I tested (back when I had the surgery done) positive to the HER2 protein gene ( will discuss this later, when I have more info and a great way to explain it), that I will be a medicine for 5 years. So I whined like a baby and said its one pill a day for 5 years. OK... so I guess after what I have been through, a pill a day cant be that bad I guess. I have my apt with her on January 20th so will see what info I can get out of her so I find out side effects etc. but I am not going to worry about it now.
The mammogram appointment is tomorrow morning (Jan 8th) that I am worried about. Richard is confident it will come back clean. Glad one of us is confident about it!
Here is a current pic... the hair is coming in thick and curly.. slow growing but its getting there. Today is the first day I have worn it curly with some mousse in it. Not too sure that I like it.. but its better than the wigs- even though the wigs did get me through a really tough time.
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