The surgeon ordered a biopsy. So Richard and I went to the Interstate Kaiser in Portland. We weren't thinking anything about it.. I get back in the room and a Dr. comes in and tells me I have breast cancer.. I immediately start crying. Have the procedure done and she calls Richard back to be with me. After some questioning, we find out that breast cancer is 90 to 95% treatable. Its not 100% but what in life is? The drive home was a crying mess on my part. I think I cried most of the day. This was the hardest day of them all so far when I look back. I had to tell my family and friends and co-workers.. how would/could I do it? I found a way within myself to do it and everyone was so supportive from the beginning. Since then its been one Dr's. appointment after another. guess I will have to get used to it. My last day at work before surgery Feb 9th was also an overwhelming with emotion day. To my surprise, my co-workers/friends made up a get well basket of books, movies, pajamas, slippers, gift cards, gift certificates, a HUGE four and half pound bag of hot tamales (my favorite snacking candy), coffee, a coffee cup, some candles, magazines. And they all wore pink tops and passed out little pink ribbons for us all to wear and someone made pink cupcakes. I wasn't expecting any of that kind of support the day before surgery! Surgery to remove the lump and test the lymph nodes was done on Feb. 10,2010. it was same day surgery. They did end up taking some of the nodes in the surgery. The waiting room was full of family and friends some of who I didn't have a chance to see. I was at the Southwest Washington Medical Center on Mill Plain in Vancouver at 7:30am, was taken back for surgery at 10:45am. Came out of surgery at 12:45pm and I think we left the hospital at 6 or 6:30pm that evening. I was one of the last patients to leave the day surgery area. My mom has been a huge help, here every day to help me when Richard can't be. The congregation has been great about providing a few meals for us and calling to check on us. I have received lots of card, flowers, care packages and lots of love, support, prayers and concern from so many people it is truly overwhelming. I have spent almost every day since than at home healing, crying and healing. How can I have just turned 43 years old, feel absolutely fine and have cancer growing me? I don't understand. On Wed Feb 17th, Richard and I went back to see the Dr. She took off almost all my bandages. I have a drain tube that she left in for a little while longer. The drain tube is because they took 15 lymph nodes and 5 tested bad. But said I am healing fine from the surgery. I cant wait for this drain to be gone, its kind of a hassle! Next up is scheduling for a whole body bone scan and a cat scan to see if the cancer has spread to any other parts of my body. They do these two scans because it had spread to my lymph nodes so it could possibly have spread to other places also. I am not sure how I am suppose to feel. I am confused. Other than healing from surgery, I still feel fine. I am not sure what to expect next, how I am going to feel, what is the chemo and radiation going to be like? I have so many questions. Mostly , just how can this be happening?