Last night I had a melt down. Was a crying mess. I want the chemo to be over with. Wish I would have just done the radiation. Want the feeling sick part to go away. I don't want to walk past a mirror and see either me with a wig on, or me with a hat on or bald. I want my hair back. I want my old life back. I am tired of the Doctors and the appointments. Tired of having to be careful of what eat, who I am around, how much energy is what I am doing going to take, how tired I am.
After my loving husband re-assured me that we are doing really well, a trooper as my mom says I am, and we will make it through this, we are half way with the chemo, he than says its OK to have to cry about it once in a while, it is scary, and it is tough. It could be worse and I know that. I know he is going through this too and must be scared. Its not easy to watch someone you love be sick.
Spent an OK night, but woke up this morning and had to throw up. Richard thinks I might have over did it a little bit yesterday and now I am paying for it. So no work again today. I am afraid to eat anything but yet feel hungry. What a triangle!
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My Dear Nancy--This is the time to do whatever it takes to get from one day to the next. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to be angry, be angry. If you need to go to bed and pull the covers over your head, do it. Yell, cry, stomp your foot, whatever it takes.
ReplyDeleteYou are 1/2 way there. You chose to do what it takes to conquer this horrible disease. You will make it through.
"ONE DAY AT A TIME--ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER!"
I am so proud of you!
Much Love To You, Jackie
Dear Sister Nancy: I agree with Jackie if you need to cry, it is ok. This is not an easy thing you are going through, but with the help of Jehovah, your husband and friends you can get through this. I know it probably seems like there is no end to this but like Jackie said one day at a time and one foot in front of the other. We miss you at the meetings but understand why you are not there. Remember if there is "ANYTHING" I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask. Take care my sister and know that you are loved and missed by "ME". May Jehovah give you the extra strength you need to get through rough time in your life and know soon the "REAL" Life will be here.
ReplyDeleteLove ~ Your Friend and Sister In The Faith ~ Shari B
Hello Sis! BOY have I missed reading your Blog! I had to laugh at the "wig incident"! You are priceless. I'm so sorry you had a melt down...hope you made it a good one, and now you feel better. I went in the ministry yesterday...and cried the whole morning!...for no good reason! Hope you are taking it easy today. Love you so much! Missy
ReplyDeleteTweedle Twin,
ReplyDeleteI hope your medication is helping you not to feel so nauseous....I've really missed you at work!!! Let me know if I can do anything for you!!!
Hang in there!! Stay Fierce!