C- day postponed

Yes ,,, postponed. My appointment was at 11am at the Longview Kaiser. I packed my "day" bag with a blanket, the book I am reading, a word search book, my journal that I have been keeping for this ordeal, a Rachel Ray magazine and bottle of water. Richard and I got there, checked in and soon were called back. We went past about six people who were there getting treatments. We went into to small exam room. The nurse, Julie, told me about the drugs I would be getting and than she tried to get an IV in me..... this is where the problem begins. The IV, goes not on hand, or inside of the elbow area. It goes on the inside between the wrist and elbow where the veins are bigger, but deeper in the arm. The more she tried to find a vein and finally stuck me with the needle and told me to breath, the worse I felt. I finally asked if I could drink while she was doing this. She said yes, so I asked Richard to hand me my bottle of water. Than I said I feel like passing out. Well,, that did it. What ever she had inserted in me came out and she pushed my chair to a laying position and held my feet up. I did not pass out, but it was close. She than called in another nurse, who than both of them tried again to find a vein. When the second nurses stick didn't work, they called in the head RN nurse, Kim. I had two warm blankets wrapped around my arm, I was laying back, had a pillow under my arm and under my head. This head RN, Kim, took one look at me, sat down and said, " This too traumatic and I think we are going to postpone this, send you home today and get you scheduled for a chest port". I agreed. The chest port will go just under my skin, and they IV will connect to it rather than every time I go in having to do this all over again trying to find a vein for the IV. They said I have "thick skin", Richard translates that to "a fat arm", I say it might have to do with all the years of tanning. This morning, Brenda called to wish me well for the day. That did it. I needed snuggle time while I bawled to Richard about being so scared and was sorry for it all. But as the day went on, as we left Kaiser, I felt good that I hadn't started yet, and good that I got to see the set up a little bit ( a small room with about 6 chairs all very close to each other, all full but one waiting for me, met more of the nurses), but felt bad that now it postponed for about week. So I went shopping for the afternoon!